In my writing I am constantly faced with the road block of: What do I want to say?
Be it, where a character is going, the conversations they are having, the overarching narrative of a character’s development, the themes of the novel, whilst I know generally what I want – the delving into the specifics of this relative to each part of writing this novel is something I have no idea about.
I am able to put my characters in situations, know where I want them to go, but as for what they are saying means and whether it seems genuine to their character and what they want, I am often at a loss.
For an example: at the moment I have my characters are interacting and one character decides to challenge the paradigm. But when I write and re-read this I can’t seem to lock onto a specific of: Why do they want to challenge this paradigm? Would an astronaut do this? Is this manufactured drama, or melodrama? Is it relevant? What am I hoping to achieve with his conversation? I’m left with the vague idea of: it’s sort of relevant, feels a bit melodramatic, I don’t know where it leads, don’t know if it should just be deleted.
I don’t really like the idea of: every aspect of your novel should develop character or progress the narrative. Especially as in this situation the conversation I am referring to is developing character and progressing the narrative. However it feels disingenuous and vague. Or pointless.
But then again, I enjoy the start of the conversation, the banter.
I often wonder how other writers find writing. Whether it is vague like it feels to me, or if it feels lucid and vivid and “easy” and the hard part is putting word to paper. I don’t know, which is why I am doing this blog.
I am saying: A lot of the time – at least now – I have no idea why my characters are doing the things they are doing. They seem mundane but maybe genuine but mundane and genuine is not interesting and I don’t know where this mundanity is going or what it’s supposed to prove…argh!
Ok. I think I’ve resolved through this vent of sorts, that I will delete the conversation I have drafted. Time to take my own advice:
If I’m thinking about it too much. Struggling. It’s probably better left on the cutting room floor.
Apologies for the rant.
Also FYI it seems this month’s chapter might be a little late again. But at least this time I am engaged and finally getting back to a good writing routine.
Have an awesome night!